All our doing comes from our state of being. What I’m saying is, the decisions we make and the actions we take depend on our state of being. You can’t do anything consciously without being conscious first. When you “do, do do,” without stopping to be or without being aware while doing it, you’re on autopilot. You’re running old programs like a robot just running off memory, which is called habit.
Then people feel, “I don’t like my life” or “I don’t like this part of my life” or “I don’t like this part of myself.” “I need things to change.” Nothing’s going to change if you keep doing the same things without being aware.
This is one of the benefits of meditation. You stop to just be. Be what? Just be. Just be nothing more than a presence, aware of itself. Be aware of the feeling of being. Feelings will come up, they’re part of being, so be with them in your awareness, and do not shut out any part of your experience.
I’ll give you an example of how I realized being is more important than doing. (Watch video below for another example, too).
One day in the life of a tired mom, I had been breastfeeding on the bed and my daughter fell asleep, so I left her there as I often do, to sleep. I usually check to make sure there’s nothing she can grab and choke on in case she wakes up and I’m in the other room, but apparently I was too tired to think to do that this time. Most of the time she doesn’t cry when she wakes up, she just plays around, so sometimes I don’t even hear when she wakes up unless I’m in the room. When I came to check on her, she was awake and playing with a small thing she could have easily put in her mouth and swallowed or choked on.
I felt scared and guilty and all these emotions rushed to me. Emotions fueled thoughts and my mind started racing as I picked her up and held her, relieved that she was okay. My mind had gone into action mode, telling me I need to do this and that — I need to check the bed before I leave her there to sleep, I need to be more careful, I need to never leave her in that room again — all these action steps were racing through my mind, as though assigning myself things to do were going to fix the discomfort I felt about what had just happened.
I was freaking out, meanwhile my daughter was staring at me, wondering what was wrong. Nothing was wrong. My ego’s desire to keep the image of being a good mother was threatened. However, in my soul’s desire to be a good mother I know that you’ll always be a better mother when you be a mother in the present moment. I wasn’t helping anything by letting these thoughts flood my mind and affect my body by getting me tense. I realized that there was no need to be hard on myself, because the experience itself left an energetic imprint on me that will cause me to be careful of leaving small things around her when she sleeps. The thoughts have no effect but to bring me into the vibration of fear.
As you can see from my example, a lot of times you’d do well just to be. Being in a state of awareness will start to come naturally the more you make a conscious effort to do it.